Week 6 2/8/2021 Personal Space Differences
This quick little video shows the panoramic view from my back porch. If I were to go take a video from my front porch (and there wasn't a mountain in the way), you would not be able to see any houses or sign of civilization. How do you think I would feel if I were to ride that subway in Japan?
Well, I can tell you how I would feel. I would not like it one bit. When I was 20 years old, I went to live in Russia to teach English to children. When I arrived at the airport in Moscow, I had to go through customs before I could leave the airport. There were hundreds of people trying to do the same thing as me. There first thing I noticed is that there didn't seem to be a line. People were just there, and more people kept coming. After watching and getting no closer to the front where I needed to be, I decided I needed a plan. I would have to forget about being polite and waiting for my turn and push my way closer and closer until the person helped me. The problem was, I was a kid from small town Arizona and I had lived my whole life waiting in lines, taking turns, and really hadn't ever been that close to so many strangers. I stood in that area for hours trying to figure a way out of there. Believe it or not, I was the last person to clear customs in that bunch and it took me over 4 hours!! At first, I thought it was just the airport, but I was wrong. When I went to get on the subway, I had the same problem. The train would fill up with people and there wasn't any room for me. So I'd wait for the next train to come. But, more people came and the process would start over. Every day I would catch a bus to the school I worked at. I would get there early so that I had a chance to catch several busses if I just could not get onto one. After about a month, I learned a trick. But before I could use my new trick, I had to get over the fact that people were going to get into my personal space and I had to deal with it. The trick was to get in front of a bigger person, or someone who looked like they could push. Where I lived, there wasn't any workers at the bus stops like the subway in Japan had. The people would just push their way onto the bus, sometimes hanging on without the doors even closing. So after about a month of missing busses and trying a few different things, I found what worked for me. While I was waiting for the bus to come, I would find a big guy and stand in front of him. Then when it was time to get on, he'd push me onto the bus! I also found that standing in front of business men or women did the trick as well because they didn't want to be late for work.
Now that I could get on the bus, I had to learn to seal with being on the bus. The people were crammed into the bus and in my personal space. It seemed like none of them showered and they all drank vodka. I'm sure this wasn't the case, but with that many bodies in a small area, that is what I smelled. At one point I thought about purchasing 2 tickets just to be able to have a little extra space. I know that would not work, but it was an idea! I really think that this is a great idea as well, since I have a larger bubble than most people.
Enough about me.... how does this relate to a TESOL classroom?
Well, I don't currently teach, but I have substituted and volunteered in classrooms. One thing I noticed is that children can get into my personal space. They like to sit on laps, they like to hug, they get really close to my face when they are excited to tell me something. Just like getting used to riding the bus in Russia, I have to get used to kids in my personal space. I will also need to help them feel comfortable by understanding their expectations. I would not want a student to think I didn't care because I stood too far away from them, or didn't every think to pat their shoulder, or give a high five.
Other people need much more space between them and the person next to them.
Either way, people are people and like always, once we get to know them, we can have differences and still get along just fine.
As I watched the video of the Japanese subway, I decided I never want ride a subway in Japan! Honestly, at first when the people started pushing each other in, I thought the men in the uniforms would intervein so nobody got trampled! When they started pushing too, I was astonished.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your experience in Russia. It makes me think of Brother Ivers counsel, " when you're in other countries, again, watch how they do things. Watch how they do things." If I'm ever in Russia, I'll use your technique for riding the bus.
It was so fun reading your experience. That's so interesting the much we can learn when we have the chance to live our hometown and know new places and new cultures. I liked that you mentioned the effort you have made to let your students "invade" a little bit of your personal space. People who have a small personal space tend to think someone doesn't like them if that person steped back in a conversation. Great insights. Thanks for sharing them.
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